Casting Calls

Comedic Male Monologue: "Reservoir Dogs" Mr. Pink

September 29, 2021

Film Reservoir Dogs Author Quentin Tarantino Role Mr. Pink Actor Steve Buscemi Uh uh, I don’t tip. No, I don’t believe in it. … Don’t give me that, if she don’t make enough money she can quit. … I don’t tip because society says I have to. All right, I mean I’ll tip if someone really deserves a tipping, if they really put forth the effort, I’ll give them something extra, but I mean this tipping automatically, it’s for the birds. I mean as far as I’m concerned they’re just doing their job. … She was okay. She wasn’t anything special. … Look I ordered coffee all right? Now we’ve been here a long fuckin’ time, she’s only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee I want it filled six times. … The words “too fuckin’ busy” shouldn’t be in a waitress’ vocabulary. … Jesus Christ, these ladies aren’t starving to death. They make minimum wage. I used to work minimum wage and when I did I wasn’t lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tip worthy. … You know what this is? It’s the world’s smallest violin playing just for the waitresses. … So is working at McDonald’s but you don’t feel the need to tip them do you? Well why not? They’re serving you food. But no, society says don’t tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. That’s bullshit. … Fuck all that. … I mean I’m very sorry the government taxes their tips. That’s fucked up. That ain’t my fault. I mean it would appear that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. I mean show a piece of paper that says the government shouldn’t do that, I’ll sign it, put it to a vote, I’ll vote for it, but what I won’t do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fucking type, ’cause if you’re expecting me to help out with the rent you’re in for a big fucking surprise.

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