Maisie Williams nearly missed her Game of Thrones audition to visit a pig farm.

Williams revealed she almost missed her audition for Game of Thrones during an interview with InStyle in which she explains a single day in her teen years could have changed her life forever.

Williams also explains what it was like growing up in front of a large international audience. When season 1 aired she was 14 years old. She’s now 21 and filming the eighth and final season.

“I struggled with the pressure to fit in and always worried about saying the right thing,” she remembers of her teens, which included a period of such brutal online bullying from her high-school classmates that she left to work with private tutors. Living up to her badass noblewoman-turned-assassin persona in public, she says, was a hard left from how she felt inside. “It was strange because I put on the personality of the girl who was ‘Maisie Williams’ but really struggled in my personal life.” Ultimately, it was connecting with fans that gave Williams the confidence she has today. “I think just understanding I wasn’t the only one who feels like they don’t fit in really helped me,” she says. “And it made me want to inform other young kids that it actually does get better.”

She explains that the hardest part of the show ending is that she will never be able to be Arya again. She explains, “For a long time we felt like the same person, but now that I’m older, I’ve grown into a different person and found other sides to my personality.”

Williams adds, “But I do wish she shaped me to be more fearless in the industry,” she continues. “Honestly, no matter what else I work on, I’ll miss playing her.”

Game of Thrones returns in 2019.

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